December 23-30

December 24

Totally forgot to write yesterday. Today was a long, full day. Before we left for the Christmas Eve party, I edited photos in Lightroom and read a little and braved the busy aisles of Publix to get sushi (worth it). Good to see Jordan and Jack, Daisy, everyone.

December 25

A calming kind of Christmas. I ran to some podcasts before the world woke up, then cocoa and gifts with the fam in my flannel Christmas pants (WOOP). A double nap day.

December 26

Christmas is over and things are starting to feel normal again.

December 27

Really excited about a project coming up on the blog. Took the morning to unplug and write by hand, read my Bible. John 3:17 is on my heart. I still have days left of break and can't wait to see what God does with the time.

December 29

Didn't get to write yesterday! But this morning I got to run and feel cleansed. I ran to an old Rookie podcast interview with George Saunders, whom I've yet to read. He had great advice, specifically about taking it phrase by phrase when editing and avoiding cheesy or overly sentimental writing. WHICH, YO, I STRUGGLE WITH.

December 30

Really can't believe 2018 is already drawing to a close, but it's been a perfect end to a crazy year.

December 17-22

December 17

In the new year, I want to be all about instruments, movement. Writing my blog posts in a notebook and then transferring them. I want to listen to podcasts on my walk breaks and on the way to work. I think good things are in store.

December 18

A Happy Erin (A Guide):

• Writes
• Podcasts and walks and drives
• Prays for others
• Runs!!!
• Unplugs by 7 pm
• Is content with what she has

December 19

I think now that the year is winding down I'm getting semi-anxious at the prospect of free time. Very tired. But Christmas is almost here!

December 20

I can't believe it's 5 days until Christmas. Today kicked off my vacation so I'm stoked. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts, and most of them discuss writing, so I'm inspired. I hope this break is full of all the peace I need to stay creative, compassionate, motivated for the new year.

December 21

Got coffee with Jordo, K and Daisy and had real, gritty, genuine convo. Kay and I went out after to pick up a few more gifts and later went to the park and the library. Fun was had!

December 22

Got to catch up with Sophie today at the coffee shop. We had such great conversation and I've missed her.

December 9-16

December 9

A lazy day after a busy weekend. Mumford and Sons' "Delta" is the jam.

December 10

Had a really awesome day because I started it with a lot of prayer on the ride to work, which helps replace anxiety.

December 12 

OMW I forgot to write yesterday. Like at all. I am overwhelmed. I need a quiet place in the woods where all I say all day is hello to the coffee shop barista. That is all.

December 14

OMW I forgot to write again. I've had a lot on my mind so it's ironic. But even though I've been thinking a lot and doing a lot, I'm grateful because tonight I got to go to an Anberlin concert with my sister and my best friend.

December 15

Woke up tired after the concert but relieved to be able to sleep in and drink coffee and write and wear my new Anberlin sweatshirt. It's one of those days where I read blogs and feel so inspired by the beyond-sweet blogging community and marvel at all these wonderful creators and writers who get it, all around the country and even the world. It lights me up, I love it.

December 16

Sleepy this a.m., but still made it out to church. One of those services that makes your eyes well up and realize how good God is. Looking forward to 2019 and how the Lord might use me. So grateful for grace and the reminder that we can't (and don't have to) do it on our own.

December 3-8

December 3

Started today totally anxious but ended it writing a fantastically whimsical little adventure in my novel. Love how Jesus can turn a day around. I don't know what I'm doing, but today He provided peace, answers, words to write and walks to take.

December 4

Woke up at 5 to have 45 minutes to myself writing my novel. Finally finished a chapter I'd been waiting for.

December 5 

Trying to focus on the good things. Mocha Peppermint Frapp on the drive to work. Tom Odell songs. Favorite new pom pom sweater. Sophie bringing cupcakes and cocoa and flowers before Survivor. I want to focus more on God and others than me.

December 6

Ready to SLEEP!

December 7

Tried something new and went to a church dinner theater. I want the joy of the singers that only Jesus can provide.

December 8

Record shopping and mural spotting with Josh and Kaylie. It was a great day to hang out downtown and explore my city!

Vinyl Haul:

• Electric Light Orchestra: A New World Record
• Tom Odell: Jubilee Road
• George Ezra: Wanted on Voyage
• Bob Dylan: Hard Rain
• Bob Dylan and the Band: The Basement Tapes 

November 26-December 2

November 26

Choosing sleep over writing today.

November 27

I can't fall asleep so I thought I'd write. I think of this house and my room and I know I get eager to leave but one day I will and these days will be forever gone. And right now we are in this phase where we watch movies together every night and I LOVE it.

November 28

Too cold to contemplate life. Not too cold to think about gingerbread and peppermint Starbucks drinks.

November 29

It's so cold my hands are bleeding.

November 30

A doozy, but it ended with a nice walk and Pokemon Stadium with the sister.

December 1 

Suffice it to say I went on a nice shopping spree today and cleaned my closet for hours. Prime organization day, yo.

December 2 

I can't stress how much I love Sunday mornings. Yesterday I cleaned and waking up in a clean space does wonders for the mind. Morning coffee does a heart good. 

November 20-25

November 20

I need to stop staying up so late reading Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham's books of personal essays. BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD THO

November 21

Today a lady bug landed on me and I helped it back outside to its (presumably) plant home. I am currently in the throes of Thanksgiving anticipation and all I really want to do is watch the parade in my fuzzy socks.

Side Note: I feel like my fuzzy socks are becoming a recurring theme around here. 

November 22

I am feeling the cravings to have my own home.

November 23

Grateful for the friends who have hung around. The secret in your twenties that nobody seems to tell you is that everyone will grow up, and sometimes, grow apart. People get married and move out of state, or change themselves all together. And that's tough. But that makes the friends you keep all the sweeter. The ones who keep in touch, even sporadically, and who you know you could call if anything happened.

November 24

I feel sort of crazy sometimes about [my] novel, it's sort of making me insane. I am developing a twitch. JK about the twitch. But I might. You just never know.

November 25

Yesterday Kaylie and I watched Boy Meets World for a couple of hours and it was kind of the best. I need more Cory and Topanga and Shawn Hunter in my life. 

November 15-19

November 15

I got to sleep in a little today and listening as the birds chirp is kind of the best thing.

November 16

To Be Read List, Nov. 2018:

• Harry Potter #1: I know, I know, I just re-read it, but when it gets cold, I want to ride on the Hogwarts Express
• Paper Towns: Or any comparable John Green novel that isn't TFIOS
• To Kill a Mockingbird: Duh
• Carry On: At the recommendation of Kenzie
• Perks of Being a Wallflower

November 17

This is the most amazing day of my life. Exaggeration, but yeah. I listened to Queen, Tom Odell, etc. and it's like 50 something degrees outside. Kaylie and I are going to the mall and I am stoked. This morning was an unexpected chilly run, making a yummy coffee for myself, cute nerdy 90's outfit, and I just feel glorious.

November 18

My new Sunday goal is to be as lazy as possible. Sunday, I want to sleep in (even if I still naturally wake at 7) and listen to that bird outside my window and put on a sweater and fuzzy socks and read the newspaper and write run-on sentences in my journal like this one. Sundays are sometimes more magical to me than Saturdays. And that's where I'm at.

November 19

Grateful and sleepy, sleepy and grateful. So stoked for the Macy's Day Parade and Thanksgiving that it's carrying me through the next three days. LET'S GO! TURKEY TIME. 

November 11-14

Side Note: I got a haircut, which is relevant because of 1: My November 13 entry (see below) and 2: It felt like a glorious part of the life change that 25 has been so far, so I thought I'd include it. Even though I look slightly frightened in this photo. 

November 11

This week was all about coffee and voting and Jesus giving me wisdom. It was stress and exercise and Ms. Pacman and novels and exhaustion, but I have a good feeling about the rest of the week, truly I do. ♥

November 12

Erin's List of Fatitude Gratitude:

• Blue eyeliner
• That the Lord knows best 100% and that I can just be still
• Vinyl collection
• Offline living
• My bedroom
• Sleeping in on Sunday mornings
• Target trips and doing life with the sister
• A day off (much needed)
• New boots, yo

November 13

Little Lord Fauntleroy is a mess (read: me).

Side Note: Little Lord Fauntleroy is the nickname my dad has (lovingly) given me for those moments when I feel like my new, shorter hair is verging on triangular. Definitely Google it!

November 14 

Stressed to the max at some points but God also gave me the peace I prayed for today. I laid in bed after work and felt like I didn't want to ever move again, hahaha.

November 6-10

November 6

Today I am so proud because I voted!!

November 7 

Today was kind of special in its own way. Since I have been offline, I feel closer to God.

November 8

Must. Sleep.

November 9 

Today is Bleachers and Paramore songs and literature and the start of something.

November 10

But why do all those birds sit on the power lines anyway? What are they doing? Is it a business meeting? A birds-only conversation? SOMEONE'S GOTTA KNOW #bird #word

November 2-5

November 2

Saw Bohemian Rhapsody in theaters with the fam. Cried. Music is the most amazing gift and Freddie Mercury is the jam!

November 3

It doesn't matter what anyone else says or does. I had this feeling while watching the Queen movie, and I feel it now, too: I want to be a girl who lives her life as if social media didn't exist. I do enough of that for work, anyway. I no longer have interest in thinking of witty ways to share the moment, and for what? I just want to be old-fashioned and untethered, and that is all. Right now I just feel like life is too short and important not to spend as much of it really living as possible.

November 4

It's been a really good weekend. Got outside and deleted a lot of social stuff that had been leeching my mind and time.

November 5

I am becoming less afraid of things, even if only a little.

October 29-November 1

October 29

Kaylie bought me a Slytherin tie for my Halloween costume and it completes the look, yo. I can't wait for Halloween, it is one of my favorite holidays, and I get to wear combat boots to the office!

October 30

Daisy came over and we watched the original Psycho and WOW that movie freaks me out but it's such a masterpiece. Hitchcock's a genius.

October 31

Fun day as a Slytherin student in combat boots at work. A lot of my co-workers dressed up, which made me smile. So many sweet neighbors came out around nightfall and their kids were all dressed up and one girl was a Slytherin, too, and she was like 12 and no lie we totes bonded. Just said "totes" but don't even care, it's Halloween, son. I am out of control.

November 1 

Already I just know today is going to be epic. I feel amazing things for November. 

October 25-28

Side Note: Totally emo but genuine capture of my sister playing guitar some nights ago.

Side Note to the Side Note: You might have noticed that I haven't posted on this dear old blog for a hot minute. This is in part because I have been busy, but also because I have been somewhat afraid. Sharing scraps from my journal on the great, wide web is somewhat daunting to me? I don't know why. I pick and choose what I share. But I guess an unexpected side effect of this project is that it leaves me feeling somewhat vulnerable. THIS IS A BIG DEAL, YO. It shouldn't be, but it is. So for anyone reading this, thanks for your patience. I am but a small sweater-clad writer trying to be brave in the face of Sharing My Feelings. A song, for your Sunday.

October 25

Getting excited because packing for a road trip. Been walking on campus lately since the weather is nice. I'm just enjoying being myself, even when I laugh at my mistakes or awkwardness.

October 26

I honestly didn't get a chance to write yesterday. I did have some phone notes I made, though: If I can help just one person, it will have all been worth it. I may not get to affect the world but my own small corner of it that means something to me.

October 27

I'm in the coffee shop, and it was 63-67° this morning, which I suppose is fairly cold, although the colder weather is supposed to hit tomorrow. Later tonight is the market and today at noon K and I hope to go to Outback for lunch.

October 28

This morning it is in the 50's, let all the people rejoice. 

October 21-24

Side Note: Here's me being a dork with my glorious pumpkin iced coffee. This is the content no one wanted, but I'm bringing you anyway.

October 21

Woke up feeling like all I wanted to do was listen to Paramore's "Now." Never did.

October 22

I think the best part was rocking out to some pretty happenin' rap music with Mom and Kaylie in the kitchen, which Dad (nearly) caught on video tape (by which I mean his phone).

October 23

Today I bought my Halloween costume (Slytherin student at Hogwarts) and the tattooed cashier lady said, "Now that's my kind of girl!" And we talked with another cashier dude about Death Eater robes and the abundance of Gryffindor swag. #SlytherinIsCanon

October 24

Good day, featuring grape Fanta lip balm, a new episode of Survivor and My Chemical Romance.

October 17-20

Side Note: This is my beautiful mother and I love her very much.

October 17

It's a matter of mindset and what you tell yourself every day, because what you tell yourself, you'll believe.

October 18

It's the little things - Good book, slouchy T-shirt, cocoa candle. Still need to spend less time online because it distracts me and makes me compare myself. I enjoy life so much more without it.

October 19

Dad looked at me on the way out of the house today, as the sky was starting to pale, and said, "I'm proud of you." I said, "Thank you." Then, "For what?" And he said, "For everything" and that compliment carried me and I think I might put it in my story.

October 20

The kind of morning that you feel must be written in books. Slept in til dawn with a literal bird chirping to wake me up, then a soft shirt, bowl of makeshift oatmeal cereal and Declan McKenna songs all the way to the coffee shop.

October 13-16

October 13

This has been an absolute riot of a weekend. My purchases, in no particular order, from the flea market:

• An AJR hat (No regrets)
• An Abba record
• 2 pins: 1 grey horse, 1 "I love clogging"
• (I will now learn to love clogging)
• A $1 painting that has to be seen to be believed (Included above for your viewing pleasure)
• A Princess Diaries DVD

October 14

My goals are to be peace, to be still, to sit and listen and commune with Jesus. To take a deep breath and unclench my fists. To memorize Scripture and listen to heartening folk music and be confident and let air fill my lungs, to feel alive.

October 15

Watched "Splash" with the family which is adorable. Laughed a lot. 

October 16

Stayed up way too late talking with the sister and I am going to be tired tomorrow but I love those kinds of talks.

October 8-12

October 8

Long day, good day. Cocoa candle, lyrics, design, surprise sushi, taking Friday off. YES!

October 9

All I really wanted to do was watch the Princess Diaries.

October 10

Sometimes I feel like the most awkward human known to man. But then I laugh at myself because life's too short. But then I wonder if people can see me laughing (they can) which would be additionally awkward. For what it's worth.

October 11

An odd day, but not a bad one.

October 12

Quote of the Day: "I didn't know that you could get a cat to walk on a leash."

October 4-7

October 4

I started off today feeling super low and worn out and prayed wordlessly. And then my day only continued to skyrocket, often to my amazement and sheer joy. God is so good and He cares for me even when I can't form words to pray. And that is all, good night.

October 5

Sleep is important. Sleep is it, yo.

October 6 

There's something about getting up to drive and just going. There is something about adventure that appeals.

October 7

I didn't expect to get a 4 mile run today, but I did! There was a *small* October breeze and I listened to the full twenty one pilots album. That last song "Leave the City" gave me chills.

September 29-October 3

September 29

It's the kind of morning where mist envelops everywhere and the trees stretch up to the sun and I'm wide awake, it's morning.

September 30

Last day of September, which seems incredible. Though it's not anywhere close to sweater weather yet, and I wish it was, I'm excited for October. Markets and pumpkins and Halloween are some of my favorite things. Bring that autumn weather.

October 1

Sometimes the Lord answers prayer instantly. Even if it's not always the answers we want, it's good to see His faithfulness.

October 2

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord is going to provide for me, but I know He is.

Side Note: I found it hilarious and so very human that part of my October 1 entry was so uplifted, while October 2 was so skeptical. OH DEAR.

October 3

When your fun plans turn to anxiety, you go out for pie.

Side Note: It was pumpkin pie. 🎃

September 24-28

September 24

Today was the kind of day where running through a monsoon on a Monday night for cake was not only necessary, but welcomed.

September 25

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

September 26

Things That Happened Today:
- Pumpkin spice coffee
- Epic first episode of Survivor
- Daydreaming about living in the woods

September 27

Dad's birthday. A lovely evening at a local Italian restaurant and equally as lovely family. The most Friday-ish Thursday you could ask for.

September 28

Everything is Declan McKenna and skylines and feeling like an adult and child at the same time. 

September 20-23

September 20

Currently trying to read 4 books at once and that's just the way it is right now.

September 21

Nah.

September 22

Today I went for a walk and I saw two deer (a mother and a baby) prance across the path before me. I have never understood less why someone would want to hunt and kill them. So graceful, peaceful, sweet.

September 23

Sometimes it feels like I'm waiting for something, like I would give anything just to be onto the next phase of my life. But then, I can miss out on the moment I'm in, which is light and happiness. I don't want to miss out on the memories I'm making right now, watching Jack Black movies in the theater with my sister and cousin, waking up early to run in the woods, learning new things at work, meeting new people, drinking too much green tea and listening to my sister's favorite British band. 

September 16-19

September 16

My family and I stayed up talking about life and the past and talked about Halloween costumes for this year. I love to say that I ended the day with laughter.

September 17

"One time I tried to take 18 credit hours and work full-time. I dropped every class but bowling." - My father

September 18

I unplugged on Friday of last week and spent basically the whole weekend in an offline world, which was really wonderful.

September 19

Consistently amazed, surprised and overjoyed at what the Lord is doing in my life. Confused, sometimes, too, but knowing it's all for His glory. Today I learned about how He engraves us upon His hands. He hasn't forgotten us. And I got a run this morning and a tea at my favorite coffee shop and work bled into sushi and a Bible study. Already 25 has been such a rich year. 

September 13-15

September 13

I bought unicorn stickers from Target in an effort to get myself to workout more. For every day I work out, a sparkly unicorn goes on the calendar. This morning I surprised myself by getting up to run while it was still dark. So consequently, my first unicorn made it onto the calendar. #SmallVictories

September 14

At the coffee shop, listening to sporadic jazz and the scraps of a conversation. I love knowing that other writers come to this coffee shop to do their writing. We sit here in our own stories, enjoying a morning.

September 15

"There is a part of childhood that is childish, and a part that is sacred. Suddenly we are touching the scared part...We have returned to a world that is capable of glistening, and we are wading deeper within it." - David Levithan 

September 10-12

September 10

Things in My Closet Right Now:

• An N64
• The Lizzie McGuire Movie on DVD
• Karate belts
• Hiking backpack 
• Pairs of Converse: 3

September 11

I can't say how much I appreciate today. Real talks with the cousin, a night drive, familiar faces and new ones, too. Conversations of encouragement that let people know you're on their side. Realizing everyone can change. "I am who You say I am."

September 12

"It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice."

September 9

This morning my mother was sitting in the garden and I came out and spoke to her and a butterfly landed on my finger. It was a moment of such peace and I laughed and we were both sort of amazed. I like to think that I made a new fluttery friend today.

September 8

This morning I learned about how God reconciled me before I was even saved - reconciled when I was still powerless.

Little Things of Beauty:

• That moment at 2:39 in "I Miss Those Days" by Bleachers
• New navy shirts
• Friends who care
• Christ who also cares
• Ink pens that glide
• Laughter after a really bad day
• Chocolate anything

September 7

I wasn't having too great of a day after work on account of spending too much time in Ann Taylor Loft and subsequently eating a cookie and part of a brownie for dinner (chocolate chip, in case you were wondering). But the day was redeemed by a spontaneous kickboxing session and the best song I've heard in a long time, Hozier's "Nina Cried Power." Probably one of my favorites all year, maybe even five years. Such soul and feeling.

Goals:

• Buy old used soul records
• Get into the greats - Neil Young, James Brown, Aretha, Marvin Gaye
• Sync Leon's new album (and the xx) to iPod
• Read biographies

*EP cover courtesy of Hozier.

September 6

It's funny how the Lord provides what I need even when I don't know what I need.

Shannon came in today and she had these beautiful packages and they were for me, for my birthday. She bought me all of these beautiful things from Anthropologie, which is a store I want to shop at now, and it made me feel so blessed, and the words of her card were rich and joyful and it filled up my heart with good things.

She even got me a pin that says "Look on the bright side," and I already feel that as my ethos for this crazy incredible, beautiful "25" year.

September 5

Last night I was reading old journals when I got the idea.

I went back to my room, to the same bedroom I've had since I was 12, and stared up at the ceiling in the dark and waited for myself to turn 25. 

Today is day one, mere hours into my 25th birthday, which I feel like is supposed to be something great and grand but that also makes me nervous and stay up til nearly midnight looking at all my old notebooks and thinking about the past.

Goals for 25 (They will probably comically change as I go on):

• Let go of mental baggage so I can dance before the Lord
• Finish my novel
• Keep this document
• Prayer more, harder, joyful-er 
• Smile

25-year-old Erin signing off.